I began helping at a youth group last week. It is hard entering into a different world. At youth group I feel vulnerable and judged. Every week I wonder whether I will make a difference and whether they will like me. With girls it seems to change by the week. These were my worries until I realized that I am not there to make friends or be accepted by some middle school girls, I am there for one reason: make fruit. I do not care whether this fruit is a new christian, a stronger christian, or a more clear life calling. All I want is to see fruit from my faith. It is the one goal of my life as a christian. I want to see fruit but I also rejoice in the little things. If I can see one girl realize the way she is making boys stumble and not wear yoga pants or see a girl decide that life isn't about her, it is about God working through her to change lives. These kids are so "me" centered and I just wish they could broaden their view.

This makes me wonder whether I am "me" centered. I 100% do not want to be but it is human nature. By nature I care more about myself than anyone else. It is a constant goal of mine to open my eyes to others and take action. I want to change lives and turn the focus away from myself. I want a life characterized by an intense love of Christ that spills over into my life in such an obvious way that the people around me cannot help but notice Christ.

Yesterday we had to write down on a piece of paper what we want to change this year. I have been reading a book that gave me my answer. I want to live a life of thanks. I want to notice the small, amazing gifts that God gives me and be thankful.


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